Do Not Be Afraid…of Doubt

Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.” Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!”  John 20:24-28

I’m not one of those Christians who never seem to struggle with doubt.  I’m not really sure people like that exist, but there are those who certainly seem to have it all figured out. I’ve always considered myself a “doubting Thomas”. For years, I would say this as an excuse for my seemingly constant questioning – using it almost as an apology for not being as strong or as firm in my faith as I thought I should be.  At one point, despite being committed to faith in Christ, I was still questioning my own salvation. What if my faith wasn’t real? Was I really a Christian? Could God really heal me? I felt constantly guilty for having these thoughts. And in many ways Thomas was my consolation. He questioned things, but Jesus still loved him. This made me feel better.

But poor Thomas really gets a bad rap.  He’s always known for his doubt, but he was also steadfastly loyal. He knew who Jesus was, and he trusted him.  In John 11:14-15, Jesus says, “Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”

Thomas immediately says to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” That takes some faith!

Thomas also plays a significant role at the Last Supper.  In John 14:5-6, after Jesus explains that he is going away to his Father’s house, Thomas asks, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” One commentary says of Thomas, “His mind seeks for measured certainty.”¹ To me that says it all. When I have questions, or feel like I just don’t understand, that’s exactly what I want – measured certainty. And Jesus doesn’t rebuke Thomas for this. Instead, he gives him one of the most important revelations in scripture. He responds, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”  That must have clarified things for Thomas!

If what tradition holds is true, Thomas’ own ministry bore much fruit. He is often credited with bringing the Gospel to India where he died in 53 AD. Although we can’t be sure about this, there are still a number of churches on the southwest coast of India that trace their origins back to Thomas. Taking the Gospel to an unknown land in that day was no vacation. We can be sure that whoever brought the Gospel to India was someone who was passionate about Christ and willing to lay down his life for him. I can certainly imagine this being Thomas.

Over the years, I’ve come to the place where my doubts no longer drag me down an ugly path. Do I wish I didn’t have doubts? Sure. But I’ve also come to know that God is big enough to handle my questions and my doubts. I can be honest with Him. After all, He made me. He knows my human weaknesses, and He’s happy to help me overcome them. When I, like Thomas, tell Him that I need to see proof, He meets me where I am. He is faithful. He is there to remind me to believe, and I have no doubt that He rejoices when I respond, “My Lord and my God!”

— By Shay Mason

¹Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers